The Rich Man's Sorrow
by Kate84
Summary: Chapter 11 is up!!!!! A CH/JC friendship story. Nothing romantic!!!
1. Default Chapter

This story about Carter's life after the stabbing. In my imagination Lucy was pregnant but they managed to save the baby. The main meaning with this story is how Carter would have handled the situation if he'd responsibility for a child including the death of Lucy and pain.   
I usually don't do Carter/Lucy fics, I'm more of a Carol/Doug type so it's basically a Carol/Carter fic. BUT! The only relationship that's between Carter and Carol is friendship. Remember that, this is not a romantic story! Please forgive me for my spelling mistakes, I'm not from a English speaking country.  
  
  
The Rich Man's Sorrow  
  
Peter Benton walked into the ICU. A nurse was checking up on Carter.  
"Hi, how's he doing?"  
"Up and down. He had some bleedings but Romano was able to stop it. We'll be checking him from time to time to make sure there's no more bleedings".  
"Ok, thanks. I'll be sitting here for a while looking after him", Benton said and the nurse left.   
As the hours went by Benton was watching Carter who was lying in his bed. Peter could feel his tiredness but he had too much on his mind to sleep. Suddenly he heard a little noise.   
"It hurts".  
Benton turned around. "Carter! Carter! Can you hear me?" He looked into two eyes that was filled with pain. "Help me. . . ", his voice was very weak.  
"Have you any pain?"  
"Pain. . . pain. . . ."  
"Ok, I'll give you some more morphine. You'll soon feel much better. Carter, do you remember what happened?"  
Carter closed his eyes. "Pain. . . . blood. . . . Lucy. . . . blood. . . .pain. . .". "Calm down, Carter. Everything is going to be ok".  
"No!"  
"Peter!" Romano entered the room. "Hi, Romano".  
"How's he?" Peter walked over to Robert. "He's still very groggy. How's miss Knight?"  
"She died on the table 20 minutes ago". "Oh man. . .", Benton said and looked at John who started crying and screaming. "Oh no! Oh God!"  
"Hey, hey, Carter. Easy, calm down. You have to be careful with your wounds". Benton sat down by the bed and took Carter in his arms. Suddenly he knew how much he cared about the young man who only was a boy when they first met.  
  
Over at Doc Magoo's were the others sitting. They were waiting for news about Lucy and Carter. "They've been working for a while now. Shouldn't they be finished soon?" Abby said and took a slurp of her coffee. She didn't notice that Luka was looking at her. He'd almost been staring at her the whole day.   
'She's so cute', he thought and smiled at her, and when she smiled back he felt like in heaven in spite of the terrible stabbing Carter and Lucy had been a victim for.   
"I hope everything is ok", Jing-Mei said.  
"Corny and Pete will fix them up in no time", Malucci joked trying to lighten up everybody".  
"Corny?" Haleh asked. "Ok. Corday then. I was trying to get you guys to smile. What have happened is so terrible that I can't even put words on it but I can't keep going being sad. I'm sorry but I can't. I know I goof around a lot and make jokes almost all the time but. . . "   
Lydia, Haleh, Chuny and the rest could see a few tears in his eyes. "I'm not capable of handling sad things like this. Inside I feel helpless and scared, and all I want is to run away from everything and forget. Even though it doesn't seem like it, I'm very sensitive and right now I'm scared to death. Scared of loosing people that I love. Carter's on of my best friends and Lucy. . . We can't loose them. . ". Chuny took her hand in hers.   
"You're right. We can't loose anybody, but that's part of life. Without sorrow and loss there's no life". As Chuny said those words Abby took Luka's hands into hers. She could see that this was tearing him apart, not just because of the stabbing but of what he'd experienced in his life in Croatia. His eyes were wet and his hands were shaking.   
"Dave's right. We can't just sit here and feel sorry for ourselves. Of course we can talk about Lucy and Carter but just not as they already are dead. Within we hear something new should we talk about the good part. How good we are working together and how good friends we are besides work. That count too".  
  
Meanwhile at the hospital Elizabeth almost had swallowed the fact that she wasn't able to save Lucy. She sat on the floor outside the OR thinking when Romano came. "Hi, Lizzie".   
"Hello, Robert. Have you told him?"   
"Carter?"  
Elizabeth nodded.   
"Yes, I told him. Peter was there and he said he was still a little groggy but as far as I understood it, he knows about miss Knight".  
"How did he take it?"   
"Na. . .you know. As he was expected to take it. It must be awful to loose someone you love. How's the baby?"  
"Oh, I completely forgot!" She rose and started walking with Romano to the Paeds ICU where the baby was.  
  
Right after Elizabeth had realised that no matter what she did would give Lucy her life back, she'd told Mark who now was at Doc Magoo's with the others. When he told them that Lucy had died while Carter would live, they got sad again, and Luka took Abby in his arms.   
"What about the baby? He asked. "The surgeons were able to get her out right away. She'll be fine", Mark said.  
"Does Carter know about this?" Haleh rose without taking her eyes of Mark.   
"I'm not quite sure what he knows and what he doesn't know but let's go back now. Although we're closed to traumas there are still some "small" patients and we can't abandon them because of this".   
  
The next day Carter awoke early. He paged a nurse who came running.   
"Could you please get dr. Benton.?"   
"Is there anything wrong, doctor?"   
"Just get him, ok!!?" The nurse left and a few minutes later Peter came. "Hi, Carter. How are you doing?"   
"You've got to help me in that wheelchair".   
"Where are you going?" "I'm sick of not knowing! I want to see my daughter!"  
"Ok, ok. But I'm not letting you go all by yourself. You're stuck with me".  
Peter helped Carter in a wheelchair and took him to the Paeds ICU where the little baby was sleeping peacefully in her crib.   
"Look at her. . . ", John couldn't take his eyes of the child. "I've never seen a more beautiful baby girl in the world".   
Benton looked down and smiled at his friend. "Yeah, she's gorgeous, man. Do you want me to pick her up for you?"   
"No", Carter said, "Let her sleep. You're taking me down stairs!"   
"Carter, I don't think that's a good idea. . . ".   
"You can't stop me. If you don't want to help me, I'll go by myself. I want to see Lucy".   
  



	2. A visit

Caty: You asked which country I was from and I'm from Norway. One of my other fics is about a true crime that happened in Norway a year ago. It was a tragedy actually. ("You'll Be In My Heart")  
  
For the rest of you, this is part 2, "A Visit". I made up the hospital "St. John" because Mercy is so used. And as usual: I do not own these wonderful characters, except from the ones you haven't heard of before.  
  
"A visit"  
  
When Carol came to work the next she said a quick "hi" before she ran up the stairs. In the ICU everything was quiet. Carol walked slowly to the desk where a nurse was writing on a computer.   
  
"Excuse me, in which room can I find dr. John Carter?"   
"Room 256. Are you a family member?"  
"No, I'm a friend. We work together in the ER".   
"OK", the nurse said, "If you're lucky he'll be awake now".   
"Thank you".  
  
Carol continued walking down the corridor till she found room 256. She opened the door and took a quick look inside. There she saw Carter sit in a wheelchair looking out of the window.   
"Hi", she said. Carter looked at her and said hi.   
"How are you, Carter?"  
"Unfortunately I'm still breathing".   
"Unfortunately? Aren't you glad you survived?" She laid her bag on the bed and grabbed a chair that was standing by the sink.   
"I don't know. . . I know I should be happy and I am. I'm happy, I'm relieved, I'm lying. . .I'm scared to death. How the hell am I to take care of our daughter?"  
"Hey, don't worry about that. If there's one I know would be a great father it's you. You are so good with kids and I've wondered a lots of times why you didn't chose to become a paediatrician, and. . . so did Doug".  
Carter looked at Carol and she could she all the pain and sorrow in his eyes. John let his fingers go through his hair before he answered.  
"When Lucy told me that she was pregnant I couldn't believe it. Me, a father! I spent a lot of time thinking and suddenly I could feel something weird and different inside. I think I've never been happier. My experiences with little babies are not that good and I was a little worried about this thing, but when I thought about that we were both new beginners and we would do it together, I could hardly wait. And now I'm alone with all the responsibility and I'm not sure I can handle it all".   
Carol could see tears in his eyes and took his hand into hers. "At least it isn't twins", she said smiling and then Carter smiled back and squeezed Carol's hand.   
"No".   
  
Down stairs in the ER everything seemed like usual but there was a special and tense atmosphere. By the clerk desk Randi was designing more clothes for "Randi-wear" with a lollipop stuck in the mouth while Jerry played The Sims on the computer. "Hey, Jerry. Have you seen Carol?" Mark asked.   
"Yeah, I think she ran upstairs. Look, look, dr. Greene. I'll put this man and this woman into that love bed, and we actually get to see them. . . in action, you know. It's. . It's pretty cool".  
"I'm sure it is, Jerry. And as much as I'd loved to stay, I have work to do".   
"Hi, dr. Greene. I have a patient who refuses to be seen by any other doctor than dr. Lewis. Who's dr. Lewis?" Luka asked and Mark looked surprised at him. His heart started beating when he heard that name. Since Susan left and to the day he would die he'd react when the name was mentioned, but he knew that didn't mean anything. His heart belonged to Elizabeth now.   
"Dr. Susan Lewis used to work here a couple of years ago. Let me guess, the patient's name is Clark Henderson?"  
Luka nodded. Yeah. How did you know?"  
"He was a patient of Susan for many years. He never accepted the fact that she moved. I'll go talk to him. Can you take my patient, Joel Reed in curtain 3?"  
  
Mark changed charts with Luka while he grinned.  
  
"Why are you smiling?" Luka asked but got the answer when he looked at the chart. "Great. Lice and diarrhoea. When will you learn to keep you mouth shut?!" He asked himself while he headed to the patient.  
"Excuse me. I'm Barbara Knight. My daughter worked here. I'm here to empty her locker.  
"Oh". Jerry put the Sims on pause. "You're Lucy's mother, right?  
"Yes, I am".   
Jerry left the desk and walked slowly forwards the woman. "I'm so sorry about what happened to your daughter, Mrs. Knight. The whole hospital is still in shock".  
Apparently the lady didn't came to talk. "Could you please show me Lucy's locker?"  
"Yeah, sure. This way". She seemed to have a cold heart, but in spite her loss she could have accepted his condolence in a more nicer way, Jerry thought while he took Mrs. Knight to the lounge where Dave and Chuny were watching Chicago Hope. Dave turned up the volume.  
  
"Look at dr. Simon. She's hot. What she sees in dr. Shut is beyond me".  
  
"I like dr. Shut. He's not as young and goofy as many of the others are, and he's got a tragic background".  
  
"OK. . ", Dave turned to Chuny who was eating grapes. ". . let's make a deal then. I get Gina and you get Aaron. All we have to do is break them up".  
  
"Well, you've already told me what we've got to do, so I'll let you do it".  
  
Dave nodded thankfully. "Thank you, but as more I think about it as more does it seem a little unlikely. I mean, I've got a chance on Gina but you should forget Aaron and try another nurse here in reality".  
  
"Thanks a lot, Dave. What would I have done without you?" Chuny rose and left. Dave got up and grabbed a biscuit.   
  
"Oooh, Jerry! I see a lucky woman!" he exclaimed.   
  
Dave didn't know that the sad woman was Lucy's mother and he started to joke. "Wow, who died?!"  
  
"MALUCCI!! GET OUT"!!"  
  
Dave jumped in surprise as Jerry yelled. He took his stethoscope and left the lounge.  
He almost ran to the admin. desk where he saw Cleo. "Any interesting cases?"  
  
"Just the usual".  
  
"What ever".   
  
Malucci grabbed a chart and headed to curtain 3 in a great speed. When he'd left Cleo also grabbed a chart and was surprised to see that Dave had taken a patient with a huge abscess, which he usually avoided as best as he could. Was he sick?  



	3. Why?

The Rich Man's Sorrow part 3, "Why?"  
  
Note: In the last part I named Lucy's mother Meredith because I didn't rememeber her real name. When I wrote this part I found out it might have been Barbara but I'm not sure. Please tell me if it's not Barbara. Thanks  
  
  
A couple of days later it was time for Carter to fight the pain and get out of the bed. Learning to walk again was the last thing he'd expected a week ago. Then he and Lucy had been happy. Lucy. . . A week ago she was still alive unaware of that she was going to be stabbed and killed the next week. It was her last day before going into maternity leave. Why on earth hadn't he listened to her about her schizophrenia patient? Why?  
  
"WHY! WHY!" he screamed as Carol entered the door. "WHY!"  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Why am I crying over you?  
Why? 'Cos there's nothing else I can do.  
Why do I always look a fool?  
Why?  
  
"Why" - Melanie C.  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
"Hey, Carter. What's wrong?"  
  
Carol could see Carter was crying. He was going home the next day and for the first time he'd have all the responsibility for little Lucy.  
  
"Why the hell did this happen, Carol? Why?!" He was sitting by the window in a wheelchair whilst looking out. Carol stood next to him.   
  
"I don't know, Carter. I'm sorry".  
  
"Yeah, me too". He got up from the chair and walked slowly to the sink. Carol could hear the water trickle and when she turned around she could see Carter lean over it, washing his grieving face. "I'm going home tomorrow".  
  
"That's great, Carter. After being at a hospital, as a patient, is it a relief to come home again".  
  
"Weren't you scared when you came home after the twins were born and knew that you had responsibility for two other lives all by yourself and not shearing it with Doug?"  
  
"Of course I was, but that changed after a couple of days. Don't worry, everything's going to be just fine. I'll help you if you need anything".  
  
Carter smiled at his friend. "Thanks, Carol. I don't know what I should have done without you".  
  
"Oh, I'm sure you'd figured out something. So, have you named her yet?"  
  
He wiped his face and walked slowly towards Carol and sat down in the wheelchair again. "Yeah, after hours of thinking".  
  
"What's her name?"  
  
Carter took a deep breath before he spoke. "Lucy and I decided to call the baby Melina if it was a girl".  
  
"So it's Melina then?"  
  
"No, not just that. I want to name her after her mother".  
  
Carol smiled. "Little Lucy". Carter nodded. "Yeah, but we decided to name her Melina so I'll name her Lucy Melina".  
  
"I like it", Carol said. "It did the same thing, with the girls' names I mean".  
  
"Oh?"  
  
This time it was Carol's time to take a little walk around the room. She crossed her arms, and Carter could see that she wasn't all that stable as he thought she was. The scars after Doug leaving were still there.   
"Before Doug left. . we. . we were trying for a baby. Doug wanted a little girl he could name Tess. He loved that name so I was hoping for a boy".  
  
For the first time since the stabbing Carter actually laughed a little and Carol now knew for sure that he'd make it. It would take time but he she knew he'd manage to move on. "So, am I totally lost when I guess you weren't too excited about the name?"  
  
"No, you're as near as anyone can be. Tess seemed so. . I don't know. But when I saw her for the first time I knew she was a Ross. We wanted children and when it finally happened, he was gone. Since it was twins I thought I owed him naming one of them Tess. If it wasn't for him, they wouldn't be here so . . . . ".  
  
"What do you think about the name now?" Carter asked.  
  
"Now I love it", she replied. "I don't know why I didn't before though". She smiled and looked at her watch. "I have to pick the girls up from day care. When do you leave tomorrow?"  
  
"11am".  
  
"I'm working tonight. What about I drop by your house after you've settled in?"  
  
Carter looked at Carol and smiled. He was glad he had her as a friend. "Could you? I'd really appreciated that".  
  
"Of course, Carter".  
  
"Thanks, and . . . Carol. . . Call me John".   
  
"See later, John".  
  
  
Carol left. Carter rose and lay down on the bed and called a nurse.   
"Hello, dr. Carter. What can I do for you?"  
  
"Could you get my daughter? I want to see her".   
  
"Of course".  
The nurse left and returned with a crib. She took the baby up and laid her in Carter's arms. He looked at his daughter, his and Lucy's daughter. Then he felt the tears and this time he let it all out. He was alone now. After crying almost an hour, he laid little Lucy, who had fallen asleep while her daddy was crying, back in her crib. Even though he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, he wanted to try, for the baby's sake.   
  
Three hours later he stood up. It just wasn't possible. All he ever could think about was Lucy's expression on her face when he'd look under the bed. He had barely slept since it happened. Carol and Peter had forced him to take some sleeping pills but he also wanted to be awake if little Lucy woke up. He was all she had now and he needed to be there for her. This was going to be a long year.   
  
He must have slept for a while because the next time he opened his eyes, the sun shined through the window. It looked to be a beautiful day, but for him it was one of his hardest days in his life.   
  
Little Lucy was changed and sleeping happily in her crib just waiting to go home when someone knocked on the door. Who could that be? He thought. It couldn't be Carol because she was allowed to come whenever she wanted and didn't need to knock. Carter got up from a chair and opened the door. The person who was standing outside wasn't very expected from Carter's side.   
  
"Hi!"  
  
"Hello, dr. Carter. How are you feeling?" the woman asked.  
  
"I. . I'm much better, thank you. Come in".  
  
"Thank you".  



	4. The Beginning of Hell

The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 4, "The Beginning of Hell"  
  
"Take a seat", Carter said before sitting down on the bed. "How are you doing?"  
  
The woman took a deep breath before she answered. "The best as expected, I guess. I'm still in shock but. . . Who isn't? How's the baby?"  
  
Carter smiled. "She's. . she's beautiful. In spite of the circumstances everything was okay. She was lucky".  
  
"Thank God. When are you going home?"  
  
"In about an hour. Why do you ask, Mrs. Knight?"  
  
"Are you able to take care of a baby in your condition?"  
  
"Of..of course". The question was unexpected and Carter was wondering about what Lucy's mother wanted. "I can walk, and as long as I can take care of myself, I'm sure I can take care of my daughter too. Besides, a friend of mine said I only needed to call her and she'll help me".  
  
"But can she take care of a newborn baby? That's what's matter".  
  
"She gave birth to twins in November. She's great with kids, and she also understands me".  
  
"Oh really?" Barbara Knight said sarcastically.  
  
"Sort of", Carter said, defending his friend. "Her boyfriend left her a month before she discovered that she was pregnant, and she's a single mother. But that's not the point, the point is that little Lucy and I will be fine, especially with Carol's help".  
  
"Little Lucy?"  
  
"I named her after Lucy, but her middle name is Melina, as we decided together". He looked at the woman. She has probably got something to complain about that too, he thought.  
  
"Well, anyway. I still think it's best if I take her".  
  
"No! No, I'm not letting you have her. She's my daughter!"  
  
"But I'm her grandmother, dr. Carter! If you can't face the fact that you aren't able to take care of her all by yourself, then I have to take it to court. There's no way you're taking care of my granddaughter. She's living with me!" She rose, put the chair back to its place and headed to the door.  
  
"Why are you doing this to me?"  
  
"For little Lucy's best. I've already lost my daughter, and I don't' want to lose my grandchild too".  
  
"But…She living with me, her father, won't keep her away from you".  
  
"Don't make promises you can't keep, dr. Carter. Goodbye".  
  
Barbara Knight left the room leaving Carter alone crying. He couldn't believe what was happening. First he'd lost his love, and then he'd probably lose his own daughter because winning against Mrs. Knight seemed almost impossible.   
  
An hour later Millicent Carter came and helped little Lucy and Carter home. When they arrived at the apartment Carter's blood froze. Only a week ago he and Lucy had lived there together. They had done the last preparations for the baby and the nursery was finished. Just looking at the wallpaper made his heart ache. He remembered how they tried to decide between bunnies and lambs, and how they both got their way.  
  
-----------------------Flashback-----------------------  
  
"Lambs are cute", Lucy said.  
  
Carter smiled at his girlfriend. She looked so beautiful and fat. "And bunnies aren't?"  
  
"No, I'm not saying they aren't. It's just that babies and lambs fit more".  
  
"So do bunnies", Carter grinned.  
  
Lucy laughed. "I give up. You're impossible. "She held her hands on her back. Carter could see she obviously was tired.  
  
"Come here", he said. "Let me give you a backrub". He took her to the couch.  
  
"Thank you, John. Do you think we'll be good parents?"  
  
"The best", Carter began and decided to joke a little. "If we choose bunnies".  
  
Lucy slapped him. "Lambs", she said.  
  
"Bunnies".  
  
"Lambs".  
  
-----------------------End Flashback--------------------  
  
They had continued discussing the whole evening before they realised that it was probably just much easier to get wallpaper with both lambs and bunnies.   
  
"She's asleep", Millicent said but Carter didn't pay attention. "John?"  
  
"Uh?"  
  
"I put the baby in her crib. She fell asleep right away. Are you all right, John?" She looked at her grandson. There were a lot of pain and sorrow he hadn't let out yet.  
  
"I'm okay, Gamma. It's just…It's a little tough to come here again without Lucy. It wasn't suppose to be like this".  
  
"I know. If you need anything, just call us".  
  
"I will". When he looked at his grandmother he knew he couldn't talk to her about Mrs. Knight's visit. It was only one person he could tell it to.  
  
"Hallo, this is Carol Hathaway".  
  
"Hi, it's John".  
  
"Hey, how are you? Have you and little Lucy settled in?"  
  
Carter nodded, although he knew Carol couldn't see him. "Yeah, my grandmother helped us. She just left".  
  
Suddenly there was a silence between them. Carol could feel it was something that didn't seem right. "Is everything all right?"  
  
"Well, yeah…I mean.. I just…I need to talk to you. It's very important".  
  
"Sure. I'll just drop Kate and Tess at my Mum's".  
  
"You can bring them if you want".  
  
"It's no problem. My mother loves to have them, and besides you seem very worried about something, almost scared, and with Lucy, Tess and Kate together I can guarantee you that it would be impossible to talk".  
  
"Thanks, Carol. You're the only one I can talk to about this, and I hope I'm not disturbing you or something. I don't to be the little grieving man who runs to you every time something is wrong".  
  
Carol could feel tears in her eyes. Poor John, she thought. When Doug left her, she was devastated but at least he was alive while Lucy was gone forever. "Don't worry about it. You can tell me everything whenever you need and want to. You have been through a lot the last week and it would only be natural to be scared and sad".  
  
"Thank you, Carol. I don't know what I'd done without you. Somehow you really help me".  
  
She smiled. "That's what friends are for", Carol said. "See you later".  
  
They hung up. Carter made himself some coffee while he was waiting for Carol. He took a slurp and looked around in the living room. It was so quiet, not that Lucy had made a lot of noise, but he wouldn't hear her sing along with songs that were played on the radio like she used to anymore, and he remembered how much he loved it. She would never smile her beautiful smile or laugh with her cute and contagious laughter anymore. Even though he still had their daughter he'd never felt so alone. He let his fingers go through his hair and sighed while he walked toward little Lucy's crib. When he looked at the baby, two crystal blue eyes met him. Lucy was watching him while waving her arms. Carter took her tiny hand in his and he could feel tears coming down his face.   
  
"Hey, sweetie. You are so beautiful. Just like your mother was. Yeah, I know…I miss her too but we have to be strong, ok?" He smiled at the little girl and picked her up. In spite his terrible pain in his back he managed to stay standing. "Daddy has got a bad back. You have to come with me to the bathroom, I need some painkillers".   



	5. Fighting

The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 5, "FIGHTING"  
  
"She's so beautiful, John. You did a great job", Carol said smiling at her friend, and for her big joy, Carter smiled back.  
  
"Yeah, well. I kinda didn't do it all alone", he laughed.  
  
"No, of course not", Carol grinned. "But if you did, I'd sure wanted to know your secret".  
  
Carter became serious again and headed to the living room and sat down on the couch. Carol followed him with little Lucy in her arms, who almost was asleep.  
"Before you came I felt so lonely. I thought about how glad I am to at least have a little part of Lucy alive. She's still living through little Lucy, and I was relived in a wired way. I mean, as long as I've got our daughter I haven't lost her forever. But unfortunately I'll probably lose her as well".  
  
"Why? What have happened?"  
  
"Lucy's mother stopped by before I left the hospital".  
  
"She must have said something to make you this upset".  
  
"She wants the custody of Lucy".  
  
"What?!" Carol burst out in anger but she was also shocked over what she'd heard. This was the last thing Carol knew Carter should be dealing with now. The little baby girl was one of the reasons why he still was alive. "She really said that?"  
  
"Yeah, she did. I've already lost Lucy and now am I losing my daughter. I almost wish I'd died too".  
  
"Please, John. Don't say that. She's your and Lucy's daughter, and she's not living with anyone else than you", Carol said, raising her voice. She couldn't understand why Lucy's mother would do something like this to the father of her granddaughter. Carol knew that Mrs. Knight was bitter because of the terrible stabbing that had cost her daughter's life, but trying to separate a daughter and a father, who already had lost one family member of their little family, was heartless. "You're going to fight, John. Fight for your daughter. There's no way she can win".  
  
"I'm not so sure, Carol. I was barely able to pick her up from her crib earlier today. My back is almost killing me and by every breath I take I can feel the pain in my entire body. What if she's crying and I can't pick her up because of the pain?"  
  
Carol sighed while she looked at her friend. She could see how scared he was and how much he wanted to make the right choices about little Lucy's life. Just by looking down at the sleeping baby in her arms made her heart ache for Carter's sake. She laid Lucy in carter's arms.  
  
"Isn't she worth fighting for?"  
  
Carter looked at Carol before he looked down at the little girl, *his* little girl. "Yeah, you're right, Carol. No one is going to take her away from me. No matter what".  
  
Carol smiled. "Good. I'm glad to hear that, and I want you to know that I'll be here for you and Lucy 100%. If Mrs. Knight doesn't begin to think and still takes it to court, I'll do what ever I can to help you to convince the judges that little Lucy can't have a better daddy than you".   
  
"Thanks, Carol. I wouldn't have known what to do without you. It's you to thank that I've come through the last week, which I thought never would be possible. You have become one of my best friends and I am so grateful for all your help and support. You kinda understand me, except that Doug's still alive".  
  
"Anytime, John. We single parents have to stay together".  
  
"Yeah! If I had two beers I'd have said we should drink for that but it's only 1:30pm so…and I don't have anything but some coffee and milk", Carter laughed, then he paused for a minute while watching his daughter. "I just can't wait till she gets older. I want to be the best Daddy in the whole darn world".  
  
"You already are".  
  
As the weeks went by, Lucy's mother still hadn't realised how selfish she was, and by the beginning of April, the first day of the trial was set. Carter was devastated and hurt. He still couldn't believe that Mrs. Knight was doing this to him. She had told him that it was all up to him now. They could easily avoid the trial if he'd cooperate but Carter was terminated to fight for his daughter. He couldn't give up now. He knew the next couple of hours would change his life forever, hopefully in a positive way.   
  
Carol had left the twins at her mother's while they were in court. She knew that Carter should get all the support he could get. Therefore she'd talked to the rest of the staff, and all the people who were available were supporting Carter.   
  
Carter could see the judge enter the room. He looked at his hands; they were shaking and sweaty. He turned around and saw Carol in the pew behind him with Mark, Kerry, Peter, Elizabeth, Dave and Jing-Mei. He found it surprising to see so many from the hospital there, and just by looking at his friends, he knew he had a lot of people who cared a lot about him and Little Lucy. And Lucy.   



	6. Heaven by your side

The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 6, "Heaven By Your Side"  
  
Carter closed his eyes. He couldn't believe it. The last hour had really changed his life. Forever. John let his eyes go through the courtroom. The jury was packing their things ready to leave. Their lives were so peaceful than his, Carter thought. When they left the court they probably had a family or at least a wife or husband to go home to while he still had problems in his life.   
  
He could feel the tears pressing behind his eyes. His mouth and throat wanted so badly scream and yell but he managed to stay calm. When he looked to the right he could see Mrs. Knight. She was sitting there looking the same as him but with totally different reactions inside her. Only one of them had won and yet both of them were amazingly calm and shocked.   
  
Everyone around him was talking about how great or bad the trial turned out while Carter slowly "disappeared". As the minutes went by he realised he wasn't anymore in the court with Lucy's mother, the lawyers and the judges. When he looked around he saw a beautiful blue heaven, birds and green grass with flowers. It felt like heaven. Behind him there where dozens of trees and bushes with apples, pears, strawberries, black and red currants, etc. Suddenly he discovered a straw roof far away. Smoke came out of it. Curious about what this place was and why he had come here made Carter run towards the house. As he got closer he realised it wasn't an ordinary house; it was a little cottage.   
  
Carefully Carter looked in through a window. It was the nicest and smallest cottage he'd ever seen. Because of his family's money he'd never been in a cottage at this size. After all these years with big houses and mansions he discovered how much he liked the little cottage. Being rich wasn't always fun. Living a normal life and earning his own money, and being able to take care of himself was the most important choice he'd taken. Even though he never would have been stabbed if he'd chosen the family business, he didn't regret his choice.   
  
Suddenly his thoughts were cut off. "Lucy?" He took another look through the window. It couldn't be…..He wasn't dead….or was he…? Did he die when the judge told him the news? When he looked through the window the third time the girl turned around. It was her! "Lucy!" he screamed. "Lucy! I'm right here! Look! Lucy!"  
Then he realised she couldn't see or hear him. It was like he was in this trance, a trance where no one could see or hear him yet he could hear and see all the people around him. What was wrong with him? What was he doing here, in a world where he was invisible?  
  
Carter closed his eyes, just wanting to know why he was here. When he opened them he was trapped, trapped in fog. It was thick fog everywhere. A little voice inside him wanted badly to scream but somehow he managed to keep it inside. Trying to find a way out he began walking, but after an hour he was still back at square one. He was really trapped, like someone didn't want him to leave.  
  
"John?"  
  
Thinking he was just paranoid he tried to ignore the familiar voice that talked to him. "Wake up, John! You're dreaming", he said to himself.  
  
"Come on, John", the voice said. "You're not dreaming. I want to talk to you. I've missed you so much".  
  
This was unbelievable, Carter thought. Only an hour ago no one heard him even though he screamed as loud as he could. "Lucy?"  
  
"I'm right here, John".  
  
It was her, it was really her! Lucy. "Lucy?" He looked in the direction where the voice came from and when he turned around again, the fog was all gone, and he starred right into Lucy's beautiful blue eyes. "Lucy?"  
  
"Hi, John. Nice to see you again".  
  
Carter didn't know what to say. "I…you..I mean..how..".  
  
"You did a great job today, John. And no matter how you must be feeling, I want you to know that I'm proud of you. You did what you could, and that's what matters", Lucy said and smiled her usual "Lucy"-smile. "Remember to thank Carol for me. I'm really glad you have her by your side".  
  
"I miss you, Lucy".  
  
"I miss you too, John, but life must go on".  
  
"I don't want it to go on, not without you".  
  
"You have to, John. But please remember that you always have heaven by your side". Then she kissed him before she suddenly disappeared. Carter couldn't believe what had just happened. He had to be a lot sicker than he thought.  
  
"Carter?" someone behind him said. "Carter?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let's go home, Carter".  
  
Carter opened his eyes, which he'd closed for a second. He was met by two brown and gentle eyes. Confused about what he'd seen and heard, he just nodded and walked out from the court with his friend.  



	7. Heaven Help This Lonely Man

The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 7, "Heaven Help This Lonely Man"  
  
In this part I've tried to make a rapid flashback from his life at County. It's suppose to like the one Mark Greene has during his surgery in "Piece of Mind"; a quick little thing but it's not easy to explain it. I know it sucks.  
  
  
Carter kissed little Lucy's hand. She was his, only his, and of course Lucy's. He couldn't believe he won the trial. Right now he was the happiest man on earth, except he had terrible back pains. After taking some painkillers he decided to take Lucy out for a walk. He laid her in her stroller and went out.   
  
The feeling of being a father was incredible. He'd never realised that before now because of Lucy's death and then the trial but it felt so good. After what he'd been through he was glad he had his daughter. Just wandering around in the park with little Lucy sleeping in her stroller was like heaven.  
  
A couple of ladies in their seventies came smiling towards him. They took a quick look at little Lucy. "Is she yours?" one of them asked gently.  
  
Carter nodded. "Yeah, she is".  
  
"She's a beautiful baby", an other said. "You must be so proud".  
  
"I am. She's my little miracle".  
  
The ladies smiled and continued their walk while Carter leaned down to the sleeping baby. "Did you hear that, Lucy? They said you were beautiful. And they're right, they're so right".  
  
It felt so great to be talked to by total strangers about how beautiful his daughter was and how lucky he was. But he also felt guilty. Little Lucy wasn't just *his* daughter. She was Lucy's too. Even though Lucy wasn't alive anymore she wouldn't be forgotten. Little Lucy was going to get to know her mother, or at least who she was.   
  
"Do you know what, Lucy? I know I can't bring your mother back but we can visit her. Do you want to visit Mommy? Yeah? Let's go and visit Mommy".  
  
Carter pulled out a little box from his pocket and took two pills for his back before he began the walk to the church where Lucy was buried. When he came nearer he could see the church tower. Suddenly he didn't know where he was; everything he'd been through the last couple of years came back to him.   
  
*****************Flashbacks****************  
  
"I'm John Carter and I'm clamping the aorta".  
  
  
Haleh: "We lose them all the time, Carter".  
  
  
Mark: "We can't fix everything".  
  
  
"I get to grade you!? Oh, there is a God!"  
  
  
"Somebody call a doctor!"  
Carol: "You ARE the doctor!"  
  
  
"Benton's gonna kill me!"  
  
  
"Lucy, stick your foot in my pit"  
Lucy: What pit?  
"My armpit!"  
  
  
Kerry: "Carter, I'm not your mother! Now for the last time, get up!"  
  
  
"I don't remember the last time I wasn't scared".  
  
  
Kerry: "Show us your rists!"  
  
  
"She was better than I ever gave her credit for".  
  
  
"You fought the good fight, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy…."  
  
********************End Flashbacks*************************  
  
Frustrated and stressed he took another two pills and swallowed them. The memories just ate him up alive. Especially as he came closer to the church the memories of Lucy's funeral were swimming around in his brain. During the funeral he'd been sitting in a wheelchair in front of the church watching the white coffin overfilled with flowers.   
  
When he stopped by Lucy's grave he could feel the tears come. He took the flowers he'd picked and put them in the vase that was there. Kneeling he touched the stone. It was so cold, just like everything else around there.   
  
"Hi, Lucy. It's me. John. And little Lucy. I'm sorry I..we haven't been here since the funeral. The trial took so much time and strengths. But we're here now, and we're fine. What about you? What are you doing up there? Are you back in med. school or what? Or maybe you don't need doctors in heaven?   
  
I hope you are happy, or at least happier than I am. Don't worry, Lucy. I'm okay but with you gone I feel so lonely. Don't get me wrong, little Lucy gives me a lot of company and especially now that I know I get to keep her, but it's just not the same without you. Fortunately Carol and I have become very good friends lately. She knows some parts of what I'm going through, and she's great with babies. I believe little Lucy and Kate and Tess can have some great times when they get older.   
  
It's strange not having you at the hospital anymore. I mean…. I haven't been there working since…. since it… it happened but… I've been there on check ups with little Lucy. At first I thought I didn't have to have her checked from time to time but I realise now that as a father you always think the worst. That's why I let Cleo take a look at her once a month or so. Just to be sure. I can't let anything happen to her. She's all I got now. But I'm glad I can come here and talk to you. Even though I get a lot of help from Carol I could need some wise words about fatherhood from you too. I've figured out one by myself: She's not dating until she's 30 years old. If I could see you now you'd probably be laughing and shaking your head. Okay, 29 then. I'll try not to be an overprotecting father but it's not easy. She's our little girl.   
  
Well, I think that was it. I can't remember anything else to tell you. We'll be back later", he said as he rose. "I love you, Lucy. Bye".  
  
  
*************************************************************************  
  
Not too long ago when she was mine  
I thought we would be together 'til the end of time  
That's the way it goes when you're in love  
Since she's gone there's no one else I'm thinking of  
  
I need her to stay with me  
Lay me down and pray for me  
Now I know just where I stand  
Heaven help this lonely man  
  
- Heaven Help This Lonely Man by Peter Cetera  
******************************************************************************  
  



	8. A Day In May

A/N: I'm very sorry it's taken so long. Unfortunately school's a lot more important and as many others, I can't do anything but accept it. But the chapter's finished now.  
As you'll find out when you read this chapter, it's based on "May Day". I've used a great part of the last scenes because I need it for the next chapters. I can promise you that it is far away from finished yet. Think about the "May Day" part as a transcript.  
Originally Carol had already left for Seattle in this episode but in my story she never went away. I kinda need her here. (I can't believe I'm writing this! I'm still 100 % Doug and Carol fan so I can't leave out a reunion) Please tell me what you think:)  
  
The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 8, "A Day In May"   
  
"Carter, got a minute?" Kerry asked.   
  
"Not really. I'm going home".  
  
"Not yet. I need to talk to you".  
  
"Shoot!"  
  
"Not here. Come on".  
  
Carter followed Kerry in to curtain 3 (!) where he was met by Peter, Anspaugh, Mark and Jing-Mei. "Oh give me a break". He said laughing and tried to leave.   
  
"John", Kerry said calmly.  
  
"Carter, just listen". Mark hoped he would stay. He seriously needed help.  
  
"No! I told you I'm on painkillers for my back, but I'm functioning".  
  
Donald Anspaugh sighed. "Dr. Carter. It would be wise to be quiet and listen".  
  
Carter got nervous as Anspaugh talked. He just wanted to disappear.   
  
Mark began his 'speech'. "My van is parked outside. We have a ticket to Atlanta. There's a drug rehab…." Everyone looked sad at Carter, not wanting to realise it was Carter they were talking to about going to rehab in Atlanta. "There's a drug rehab centre there that specialises in treating doctors with addiction.   
  
"Well, that's great. But I'm on prescribed painkillers and that doesn't make me an addict and I think you all know it", Carter said as he furious tried to leave but was stopped.  
  
"I'm not finished", Mark said. "It's apparent to all of us that you have a drug problem. Therefore we cannot allow you to work here or anywhere else as a physician, so you have two choices. Get in the van, go to the airport, check yourself in and when you come back we will support you any way that we can".  
  
"Or, I'm fired?"  
  
"Yeah".  
Carter couldn't believe that he was hearing this. They just wanted him out of their way, and now they had him.   
  
"Everyone in this room cares about you", Donald added. "No one is judging you".  
  
"Yes you are. You've already judged me. You have no idea of what I've been through these last few months, but I've been here. I haven't made excuses. I haven't complained".  
  
Kerry sighed. "That's not the point…."  
  
"No, that is the point! Can anybody tell me that uh, uh that I have endangered patients? I mean, can anybody here say that my performance has changed? Hm? That I'm some kind of malleability?  
  
Jing-Mei found it very hard to do this to John, her friend, but she knew she had to. "John, you put a patient into anaphylactic shock by giving her bacterium when she told you that she was allergic to it".  
  
"And you almost killed a somebody by leaving a guide wire in their chest. Is this about mistakes? Who here hasn't made a mistake?" Carter said and turned to Mark. "Hell I saved your ass this afternoon".  
  
"John, you're demonstrating compulsive drug seeking behaviour".  
  
Carter looked at Kerry. "Wait, just tell me what".  
  
"You know what? I think bailing Fentanyl in the trauma room qualifies".  
  
"Well, I told you I didn't do that. You want to call me a liar, fine call me a liar, but I didn't do that".  
  
Kerry Weaver understood now that there wasn't anything else to do than:  
  
"Okay, show us your wrists".  
  
"What?"  
  
"SHOW US YOUR WRISTS!"  
  
Were they serious? They had to be joking, Carter thought. "Are we looking for track marks?"  
  
Kerry nodded upset. "Yeah".  
  
Carter knew he had to pretend it wasn't something to hide. "Well there. See? Here you want me to roll up my sleeves?"  
  
But unfortunately showing his wrists like this wasn't enough. "Take off your watch".  
  
Damn it! Think! Think! How are you gonna get out of this, you know they already have caught you? "Uh, you know? You know what? Forget it". He started to walk out of the room. "Forget it"  
  
"This is your only chance Carter!" Mark said to him.  
  
"I quit". Very angry he left leaving the others, who all were wondering why this was happening to Carter. It just couldn't be true.  
  
"Well, is that it?" Anspaugh asked.   
  
Peter grabbed his jacket and rose. "No".   
  
  
As Peter walked in to the lounge was Carter, who was very upset, busy emptying his locker quickly.   
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I don't need this. I've never needed this. I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to help people but I don't need their damn job!"  
  
"Carter, you don't want to do this".  
  
"I'm not doing it, they are".  
  
Peter sighed. "When are you going to realise you can't do whatever you want anymore? Hu? You're a father, Carter!"  
  
"I know that, thank you".  
  
"So start acting like one! Little Lucy's already lost her mother, do you want her to lose her father too?"  
  
Carter stopped emptying his locker. "No", he said quite.   
  
"Then get your ass to Atlanta! You need help".  
  
Reluctantly Carter nodded slowly.   
  
"Good", Peter said as he saw tears in Carter's eyes. "Come here". He friendly took his arms around him. "It's gonna be okay".  
  
****************************************************************  
When the daylight's gone, and you're on your own  
And you need a friend, just to be around  
I will comfort you, I will take your hand  
And I'll pull you through, I will understand  
And you know that...  
  
I'll be at your side  
There's no need to worry  
Together, we'll survive  
Through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side, if you feel like you're alone  
And you've nowhere to turn  
I'll be at your side  
  
- At your side by The Corrs  
*************************************************************  
  
When Carter realised he was crying in Benton's arms, he pulled away. Peter looked worried at him. "Are you okay, man?"  
  
"Not before I'm clean", Carter said, and to Peter's relief Carter was actually smiling. "But how can I be a good father to Lucy when I'm in Atlanta?"  
  
Peter smiled. "Don't worry about that. As Mark said earlier, we'll all help you in any way we can. That also includes Little Lucy".  
  
"Thanks". 


	9. And Baby Lucy Makes Three

The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 9, "And Baby Lucy Makes Three"  
  
While Peter followed Carter to Atlanta were Jing-Mei, Kerry and Mark discussing how to replace Carter the next three months. But what to do with Little Lucy was the biggest problem. Everyone thought of Carol but she already had two babies and didn't need a third one.  
  
"If she took care of Lucy and we helped her 100 %?" Kerry said. It had been a hard day but they all knew they had to figure out what to do before any of them could think of going home.   
  
Mark sighed. "I know, but I just don't want to dump everything on Carol. She's having enough to do as it is".  
  
"What about you and Elizabeth?" Jing-Mei asked.  
  
"Maybe. I have to talk to her first. We both work pretty much and lately we haven't had much time together. Where is she staying?"  
  
"I think Carter's grandmother's taking her for the night, but she isn't exactly young anymore and a baby is a full time job. She wants someone else to take care of her granddaughter", Kerry said informingly.  
  
"I'll talk to Elizabeth and Carol", Mark said. "We'll probably find a solution. But is there any other person in this world Little Lucy trusts besides Carter, it's Carol. Carter has told me how much she's been helping him".  
  
Kerry, Jing-Mei and Mark agreed to drop it there for now.   
  
  
In Atlanta was Carter checking in. Peter looked at his friend. Could this really be John Carter, his clumsy but yet dedicated student?  
  
"What's your name?" The woman asked.   
  
Carter felt sick. Why couldn't they just let him have a shot and a bed? Peter saw how ill Carter was and talked to the woman.   
  
"His name is John Carter".  
  
"Okay. He has to fill out this form".  
  
Peter took another look at Carter. "He's pretty sick. Is there anything you can give him?"  
  
"He needs to fill in this form first, and it has to be done by him".  
  
"Okay". Peter took the form and gave it to Carter, who barely managed to take it. He had dark rings under his eyes and he was sweating. "Just fill this in and you'll get some help".  
  
"I can't do it. I just want to die".  
  
"No, you don't, Carter. Come on, fill this out. I know you can do it".   
  
Carter managed eventually filling out the form, and it was time for Peter to return to Chicago. After he'd checked in the woman took him to the group of the addicted doctors, who all were there to say hello to the new patient. It was just so pathetic. Drug addiction, he thought. He'd ended up as Chase.   
  
***************************  
  
"How long has he been down?" Mark asked.  
  
"31 minutes", Carol answered.   
  
"Okay", Kerry said. "That's it. Time of death: 07.39"  
  
Carol sighed. "It's not 08.00 yet and one is already dead"  
  
She threw of her bloody glows and headed to the nurses' station.   
  
"Hey, Carol!"   
  
Carol turned around. "Hi, Mark".  
  
"I need to talk to you".  
  
"Sounds serious".  
  
"It is".  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Little Lucy".  
  
Carol got suddenly scared. "Is she okay?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. It's just that with Carter being in Atlanta and everything she has no place to go".  
  
"I know", Carol said, slowly realizing what Mark was about to ask her. "Don't even say it, Mark".  
  
"We're desperate, Carol, and Lucy knows and trusts you. I talked to Elizabeth about it but we realized we barely have time and neither of us are very good with babies. We all know you are, though".  
  
"Don't give me that. Rachel was a baby once".  
"It's 11 years since I changed a diaper. Look, I'm not saying you're going to have all the responsibility. We'll all help as much as we can, besides we're also offering you as many days off as you want with full payment".  
  
Carol went silent for a couple of minutes.  
  
"Okay. For Carter and Little Lucy's sake, but if I'm dead in the morning it's your fault".  
  
"You are a Goddess, Carol. I'll talk to Kerry about a raise".   
  
Carol laughed. "Yeah, right!"  
  
  
When Carol's shift was over later that day she realized what she'd done. Three babies. Two six-months-olds and one three-months-old. She almost wanted to tell Mark she'd changed her mind when she came up to day care. Carter's grandmother had dropped Little Lucy off there a few hours ago.   
  
"Hi, Carol", Emma, one of the day care workers, said when she saw Carol.   
  
"Hello". She went through the room and over to one of the playpens where Kate and Tess were laying. "Hey, girls. Are you ready to go home?"  
  
The sight of their mother made both girls smile and they waved eagerly with their arms. Carol picked them up and out them in their stroller.   
  
"Carol, we had a talk with Kerry Weaver earlier. She said you're taking care of Lucy Carter in the nearest future".  
  
Carol nodded. "Yeah, it seems like it. Her father is unable to take care of her right now so….".  
  
"Well", Emma began. "All three girls have gotten a new diaper and some food. I believe you ought to at least manage to get home before they need it again".  
  
"Let's hope so", Carol said laughing. "Bye".  
  
"Bye". 


	10. Come and Knock on my Door

The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 10, "Come and Knock on my Door"  
  
Carol had called Carter's grandmother just after agreeing to take care of Lucy. Millicent Carter would drop by with her great granddaughter's things later on.  
  
While Carol was waiting for Millicent she made herself some dinner and decided to enjoy the silence and watch TV. Just by relaxing on the couch she discovered how exhausted she actually was, and a couple of minutes later she was sound asleep.  
  
When the doorbell rang she'd been asleep for about an hour. That hadn't been possible since the twins were born. She turned off the TV and opened the door.  
  
"Hey".  
  
"Hello, Carol. I'm here with Lucy's things".  
  
"Come on in".  
  
"Thank you".  
  
Carol let her fingers go through her hair. "I'm sorry about the mess. I was just taking a nap".  
  
"A nap?" Millicent repeated surprised. "How do you manage taking a nap with three babies in the house?"  
  
"Good question! It has never happened before. Maybe someone in day care gave them something".  
  
Millicent laughed. "Maybe. So, where is my great-granddaughter? I'd love to see her before I go".  
  
"Sure. She's sleeping in the girls' playpen".  
  
They went over to the playpen where Little Lucy was sleeping.  
  
"She sleeps so peacefully", Millicent said admiring the baby.  
  
"Yeah". Carol nodded. "I'm glad she's too little to understand the dramatic start she got".  
  
Millicent turned to Carol. "I want you to know how much I appreciate this. I've been a lot sick lately and I'm still a little weak. My doctor told me take it easy and rest, and that's not possible with a three month-old".  
  
"Don't worry about it. John needs all the help he can get right now. I mean, it's hard to be a single parent, and he and Lucy didn't break up or anything. It must be awful to lose your partner like that. If this never had happened I'm 100 % sure they'd stay together forever. It wasn't hard to see how much they loved each other. Lucy was his soul mate". Just as Doug was mine, she thought.  
  
"You are so right".  
  
Later on Millicent left and Carol was left with the three babies again. This was it. No more sleep for at least three months. But no matter how tired she would be she wouldn't change places with Carter. It had to be terrible for him to be away from Lucy for so long. The thought of be away from the twins for three months almost scared her a little. Just as she decided to take a quick shower Little Lucy woke up. Carol hurried to the crying baby.  
  
"Hey, Lucy", she said and hold her into her chest. "Did you have a good nap? Yeah, I think you did, but you missed your great-grandmother though. Don't worry, she will visit you".   
  
Carol held the little child into her body and Lucy stopped crying. When she looked at her she could see so much of both Carter and Lucy in her. It wasn't hard to understand how much alike Lucy would be her mother. At the age of three months she already had the same face and smile as Lucy.   
  
"Is it just me, or are you very wet? Yeah, I think so too. Let's get you changed before Kate and Tess wake up".  
  
She took Lucy upstairs and changed her quickly. Just as she heard one of the girls cry she was finished. She hurried down with Little Lucy and put her in the playpen hoping she would be okay with it till she had taken care of the twins. Surprisingly she accepted being put back again, and Carol could run to the two screaming girls upstairs.   
  
When she'd changed both Kate and Tess too she took them downstairs and laid them on a blanket on the floor before she checked on Lucy. She was just lying in the playpen waving her arms. Carol could see she obviously began to lose her patience, and Tess wasn't exactly happy to be just put on the floor.   
  
Desperate to keep they quiet for a little while she put on some music while she prepared some dinner for the girls. Lucy was the easiest at the moment since she only ate breast milk compensate, but Kate and Tess had just begun eating some smashed potatoes. She decided to feed Lucy first and then the twins. They usually ate at the same time anyway.   
  
Carol finished the bottle with milk and sat down in the couch ready to feed Lucy, who clearly understood that dinner was just around the corner, when somebody rang the doorbell.   
  
"Great", Carol sighed. She put the bottle on the table and headed to the door with Little Lucy in her arms. "I'm sorry about that, Lucy". The baby wasn't exactly happy about getting disturbed during her dinner. "Hey, don't cry, sweetie. It's probably just a salesman".  
  
"Hi, Carol", the person said as she opened the door.   
  
"Hi", Carol said back.   
  
"How are you?"  
  
  
AN: Okay. This is where I need your opinions. Who should the person be? At first I was planning it to be Doug but then I thought it would be too soon for him to come back. Please tell me:) 


	11. Hard Times

The Rich Man's Sorrow, part 11, "Hard Times"  
  
Carol stared surprised back at the man. It was him. Doug. "I'm fine. What about you?"   
  
"I'm okay".  
  
Neither he nor Carol knew what to say but fortunately Little Lucy began crying. Doug smiled at the baby. "Someone's got good lungs. Hello, little one. How are you today? Oh, I see…. I disturbed you during dinner, didn't I?"  
  
Carol laughed. "How did you know she was about to eat dinner?"  
  
He pointed at the table. "The bottle. I'll be back later".  
  
"No, that's okay! I mean, I could really need some help".  
  
"Sure". Doug entered the house he'd been inside of so many times. "So, who is this little angel? She's adorable", he said referring to Lucy.  
  
"She's Carter's".  
  
"What?!" Doug asked shocked. "You and John Carter?"  
  
Suddenly Carol realised what she'd said. "No, no, no! Of course not. We're just good friends. She's John and Lucy's daughter. I'm just… babysitting, if that's what you can call it".  
  
"Babysitting?"  
  
"Look, Doug. It's a very long story. Even though you left things have happened".  
  
"So, you're not going out with Carter?"  
  
Carol sighed. "No, Doug! We're not dating. A patient stabbed him and Lucy Knight, the med. student, in February. Lucy died and I'm taking care of their daughter while Carter's in rehab in Atlanta".  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
They sat down and while she fed Lucy Carol told Doug about everything that had happened. When she was finished Doug didn't know what to say.  
  
"Wow!"  
  
Carol smiled as she looked at Doug. He'd been shocked earlier when he'd thought she was seeing Carter, but he was even more shocked now.  
  
"So, I'm kinda stuck here with three babies".  
  
"Yea-Three?"  
  
"There are two at the floor. They are three months older than Lucy".  
  
"Whose are they? Mark and Elizabeth's?"  
  
"No…" Carol said slowly. "They are ours".  
  
"Ours?" Doug repeated even more surprised.   
  
Carol knew she had to tell him anyway. "I-I was pregnant when you left"  
  
"You were? How come you didn't tell me? We tried for so long!" He almost raised his voice now.  
  
"I was pregnant, alone, scared, hurt and you had just left me. How do you think I felt? Just as I loved you I was also angry at you".  
  
"I asked you to come with me, didn't I?"  
  
"Yeah, to the other side of the country".   
  
"Fine", was all he said before he rose and left.  
  
"I-I'm sorry, Doug", Carol cried after him, but he didn't hear her.  
  
  
She had really done it this time, and she couldn't blame him for acting the way he did either. After wiping some tears away she laid Little Lucy in her bed that Millicent had brought earlier. By then Kate and Tess had had enough of laying on the floor, and both of them began screaming.  
  
"Please, girls", Carol said as she came downstairs again. "I just screwed up with your father and I'm so tired that my body is about to fall apart".   
  
She managed to feed the twins and put them to bed, and when they finally were asleep she let her body fell down on the couch. Not even a day had gone and Tess, Kate and Lucy had all made her exhausted, and she could feel her body ache. It didn't take her long before she fell asleep, but only 20 minutes later the phone woke her up. She sighed and went to answer the phone.  
  
"Hello?" she said as she yawned.  
  
"Hi, it's John", the voice in the other end said.  
  
  
  
This chapter is dedicated to my best friend, John T Carter. We stick together through thick and thin.  
Glad i deg ;) 


End file.
